Funny Mother Daughter Jokes, Funny Kid jokes: Colour

Daughter: I don't like spinach.

Mother: Eat them. They will bring some colour to your cheek.

Daughter: But mom, who wants green cheeks!!

Funny Teacher Student Jokes

Teacher: Ram, join these sentences. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Ram: I saw a dead body cycling to school!!

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Teacher: Ram, how many feet are there in a yard?

Ram: Well, it depends on how many people are there in that yard!!

Asin in Trouble, Asin Faces Ban

Asin is in trouble and she is not atall happy. M.S. Dhoni's marriage may have put to an end to rumours of their alleged relationship, but South Indian beauty Asin, currently busy in Sri Lanka shooting for Anees Bazmee's Ready (remake of the Telugu hit Ready) with Salman Khan, is still in unhappy and in trouble. Why? A decision on her ban is expected from the South Indian Film Artistes' Association in a couple of days in Chennai. "I'm truly upset that certain political groups in Tamil Nadu are targetting me for my decision to shoot a film in Sri Lanka. How can I be targeted for this decision? Ready was supposed to be shot in Mauritius, Thailand and then, Goa. Till a few days before the shoot, I didn't even know the final destination. When I heard it was Sri Lanka, I did express my concern to the producer and the director. While they understood my predicament, they too couldn't change the shooting location because things had already been planned, she said to a leading English daily. "Art should not be politicised and actors shouldn't be made to bear the brunt of political animosity because we are truly ambassadors of peace. I'm making an effort to reach out to the troubled Tamil community in Sri Lanka and I think by being in their midst, I'm bringing a smile to their faces. I just hope others see this as a peace-building exercise," she added. Now it would be interesting to see how SIFCC reacts to Asin's Kollywood film Kaavalkaran with Vijay!

Somam Kapoor- The Elegant Beauty, Somam Kapoor And Her Movies

Sonam Kapoor has begun to understand the nuances of movie business rather well. After witnessing the box office debacle of her two big-budget movies, Sonam has realised it is wiser to do small budget films like her forthcoming 'I Hate Luv Storys'. 'I decided let's go the other way. Quite a few seasoned directors offered me films. When you work with Sanjay Bhansali ('Saawariya') and Rakeysh Mehra ('Delhi 6'), the audience expects so much from you. I think films don't fail, budgets fail. For example 'Saawariya' broke even, but it was neither a hit nor a flop. Had it been made in say Rs.15 crore or less, it would have been a hit. So I thought let me try doing films of lesser budget.'After debuting with Bhansali's 'Saawariya' (2007) and then doing another seasoned director Mehra's 'Delhi-6', Sonam had to convince herself to work with first-time director Punit Malhotra in 'I Hate Luv Storys', which also stars Imran Khan in the male lead.'When Punit came to me, I thought he is such a good-looking guy, he should be into acting, why he is directing. When I saw that he has written the script and dialogue all by himself, I thought this guy has something in him. When he was speaking about the characters, he was very specific about what he wants,' she said. 'I found that he has worked as assistant director for 10 years. He knows the technical elements and he has his own point of view. I thought he is not a bad guy to work with. I also wanted to work with Imran and we both were his first choice,' she added. In three years Sonam has had just two releases. Asked about it, she said: 'I believe in quality and I believe if you don't saturate yourself you can't be creative.' 'I Hate Luv Storys' is a romance saga. It revolves around two people who are completely opposite when it comes to finding true love. While Imran's character Jay doesn't believe in love, Simran, played by Sonam, swears by it and is quite filmy when it comes to love. Sonam has no qualms in accepting that her actor father Anil Kapoor's reputation in the industry has helped.'I have my dad's experience behind me. I am his daughter not son; so there is not much comparison. People have too much respect for him and he holds a good reputation. So people think that an apple can't fall too far from the tree, and she may be good as her father and I get work. I have no qualms in accepting that it's all because of my dad,' said Sonam. 'My parents are very honest in showing me my shortfalls. They have always guided me on what to do and what not to do. They told me not to get into the rat race because there you need to do lots of manipulation. And I am keeping up with that. My dad is very proud of me.' After 'I Hate Luv Storys', Sonam will be seen in her home production 'Aisha' and Pankaj Kapoor's 'Mausam'.
Best of luck Sonam!

Aruna Shields- The Bare Babe

After Bollywood hotties like Nandana Sen and Sherlyn Chopra, the newcomer Aruna Sheilds is next to bare it all in front of the camera! Aruna Shields, who made her debut in bollywood with PRINCE alongside Vivek Oberoi, is creating huge waves for her new film MR SINGH MRS MEHTA. As the bold actress will be seen posing nude for a particular sequence in the movie. Just like Hollywood actress Kate Winslet did in supremely successful film TITANIC, Aruna plays muse for a nude painting, and that is her turning point. For a girl who is trapped in middle class morality, to reach a point where she not only poses naked in front of a man who is not her husband but also doesn't care what the world will think when the painting becomes publicAruna Shields has gone for a complete image makeover with her new film MR SINGH MRS MEHTA, which releases on June 25. From a desi Bond babe, Shields has transformed herself into a girl-next-door from a small town in this film. Shields plays Neera Singh, an agony aunt columnist who discovers her husband is cheating on her. Also starring Prashant Narayanan, another Brit Asian actress Lucy Hassan and Naved Aslam, the film is written and directed by Pravesh Bhardwaj and produced by Manu S Kumaran and Tutu Sharma. MR SINGH MRS MEHTA is the story of Ashwin Mehta (Prashant Narayanan) and Neera Singh (Aruna Shields) who find that their spouses are having an affair. Drawn together by shame and anger, they find comfort in their growing friendship, even as they resolve not to be like their unfaithful mates. MR SINGH MRS MEHTA also marks the debut of world renowned sitarist and Grammy nominated artist Ustaad Shujaat Husain Khan as a music composer.

Unlike other foreign actresses who end up being one-film-wonders in Bollywood, with Mr Singh Mrs Mehta, Aruna Shields is definitely here to stay.

Bipasha Basu and Kareena Kapoor- Strange Relationship

Its a common belief there is no love lost between Bips and Bebo after their nasty cat-fight in sets of 'Aajnabi' where Kareena told Bips 'Kali Billi' (rumour of course!). But as they say, life and cricket- both are a funny game. Now the world is all curious to know about the leeeennnngggghty conversation between the former rivals turned pals: Bebo and Bips. It seems that Bebo extended the olive branch to Bips at the Sri Lanka IIFA party. And while they chatted nineteen, sorry, ninety to the dozen, word has it… that there was little reference to a fitness DVD or size zero! Instead, the two complimented each other profusely on how terrific they looked.

And their chat, spicy and nice, was all…. girlie talk only. And strictly meant for their celeb ears only!

Golden Rules of Love and S ex, Laws of S ex and Love

There are some golden rules of love and s ex. Go through it!

* When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

* Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

* The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.

* It is always the wrong time of the month.

* The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

* When the lights are out, all woman are beautiful.

* S ex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.

* The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

* It is not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

*Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

* There may be some things better than s ex, and some things worse than s ex. But there is nothing exactly like s ex.

* Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.

* If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

* Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of of physics.

* S ex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

* You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine woman.

*Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

* Thou shalt not commit adultery.... unless in the mood.

* Abstain from wine, woman, and song; mostly song.

* Never ague with a woman when she's tired -- or rested.

* A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the woman he couldn't.

* It is better to be looked over than over looked.

* Never say 'NO'.

* A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

* Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

* S ex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

* Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

* There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

* Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.