Matrimonial/ Funny Matrimonial ads

Funny matrimonial ads ...

FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must
have own boat with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.

SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original, genuine article.One
of the most handsome and smartest bachelor’s around is now looking for a
wife.


MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must be numerate and
understand complex algebraic logarithms. Needed to help further my family
unit.


IT CONSULTANT

Well there is definite room for improvement in my life. The speed of my
current flows of information and processes is slowing down and the
injection of a wife into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.



CAR DEALER

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should be in excellent
working condition.




PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please only level headed applicants. She
must not have her heads in the clouds, but have her feet firmly on the
ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely must
also be aerodynamically sound!!!


BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.


ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5’8’ & 36’ 24’ 36’ with a good head for figures. She must
be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her very nature should be
one of generating as few expenses in my life as possible.



BEGGAR

Allah kay naam peh koi eik biwi dey dey, Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey
dey, Allah terah bullah kurrey, Tujhey eik key balley doh dey dey, Hillery
hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!


DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my life. However if you
feel the need for a second opinion then it’s fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife. Successful
applicants must be able to use a penknife and a compass. She who dares
wins. Camouflage provided.



ASTRONAUT

I’m searching for a wife to fill the space in my life. Someone to share my
universe. Must have looks that are out of this world!